I have a confession.
I advocate for babywearing, I teach baby wearing, I work at a baby
wearing store, and I help parents find the right carrier for their needs, but I
only have one baby carrier. Just
one. I have had a total of 6
carriers in my 11 years of babywearing, but I've never used more than one at a
time. A few of the carriers were
gifts, one was an emergency replacement for a sling that was lost, and one has
been on loan for 2 years (I should just make it official and gift it to
them). But for the most part, I
have used one carrier day in and day out for years at a time in all sorts of
activities with babies ranging from infancy to preschool.
When we had our oldest, Rachel, 11 years ago, I knew that I
wanted to baby wear but products were hard to find. My mother-in-law bought us a Baby Bjorn
at our request and we were very thankful.
It was way out of our price range.
Rachel lived in the Bjorn for the first three months of her
life, at which point I listened to my aching back and bought a ring sling for
$20 that I found at a local farmers market. It was made out of quilting cotton in a
red and gold pattern with thick white plastic rings, and a box pleated
shoulder. I wore Rachel every
single day in that thing until she was 2.5 years old and I was six months
pregnant with her younger brother.
We took the bus, did groceries, went on an 8 hour plane trip with it, we
went to play group and the library and for long walks. It served as a sunshield, a play
blanket, a changing pad, and a makeshift highchair seat. It saw us through the excruciating
depths of severe post-partum depression.
Even when I wasn't able to make eye contact with my baby, I was able to
carry her in my arms and close to my heart every day, all day until I got help
when she was 13 months old. Some
days, wearing her and nursing her was all I was able to do for her.
When Samuel was born, he went right into the same ring sling
that had carried his older sister, after a lovely peaceful homebirth. It took us to CHEO at 24 hours old,
playgroup, shopping, he slept in the sling while I made crafts and cookies with
Rachel. A friend at playgroup once
remarked that she had never actually seen him because even at 6 months old, he
had always been asleep in the sling whenever we were there. Carrying my baby in my trusty sling
allowed me to focus on Rachel and keep our little home and family running
smoothly. Samuel was born in the
depths of a very cold winter, so I bought a cheap men's down parka three sizes
too big for me and it allowed me to keep Sam and I covered and warm while I
took Rachel to the bus stop or outside to play. This worked just as well the next two
winters when Sam was 12 and 24 months.
It wasn't flattering, but I decided that warm was chic. At some point, I forget when, I
misplaced our red ring sling and quickly realized that I couldn't function
without one. By this time, baby
carriers were easier to find and I knew that my local health food store carried
a new local brand, Maman Kangarou, in their baby section. I found a handsome sling in a grey and
blue striped slightly gauzey fabric, for around $30. Money was extremely tight, perhaps even
more so than when our first was born, but I knew from experience that this was
a very smart and worthwhile expense.
I think I skipped buying meat that month to compensate. Of course, I found the red sling about a
month later, but I preferred the fabric of the new one, so the red one became
my backup and it stayed in the car.
I stopped carrying Sam in the sling sometime around his 3rd
birthday. Around that time we also
discovered that I was suffering from secondary infertility and part of my
coping mechanism was to get rid of a lot of baby things. So, both slings went in the donation box
at St. Vincent de Paul. I could
have sold them, but I wanted another mom to be able to access them at the
lowest possible price. I knew that
they were both still in very good condition and would serve another family
well, and I didn't need the $10 that they would have sold for.
When Samuel was about 4 years old, we were happy and
surprised to be expecting another baby.
I had given away or sold my old slings, crib, stroller, change table,
baby bath tub, carseat. The only things I replaced were the
sling and the carseat. I bought a
Maya Wrap Ring Sling.
We welcomed Nicholas, all 5lbs of him, a wee bit early and
at a time when Rachel was in school full days and Samuel was in half days, so I
was at the bus stop in the winter with a low birth weight baby three times a
day. I just popped him in the
sling, and put my rain or huge winter coat over top of him and off we
went. It was so easy. A friend gave me a fleece pouch as a
baby gift and it was very cozy, but didn't get used much as it was hard to
adjust. I gave it away recently.
When Nicholas was a few months old, I realized that I wasn't
in my early 20s anymore and that carrying him in a one-shouldered carry for
more than an hour was starting to give me headaches. Nothing else had changed. I was using a ring sling just like I had
with the other two, but it wasn't working as well this time.
So, I tried on all the soft structured carriers that were
available in the city and decided on the Manduca because it was the most
comfortable and fit my long, skinny four month old
who couldn't yet open his hips enough to sit straddling me. The infant insert in the Manduca was
exactly what he needed, the zip out body accommodated his long infant torso,
and the long waist and shoulder straps fit my 6 foot
tall body the best.
I bought the Manduca when Nicholas was about 4 months old
and just 10lbs.
He is now a month
away from his fourth birthday and 31lbs.
He hasn't asked to be carried in about two months and I think that our
baby/toddler/preschooler wearing days are coming to an end.
In his first year, though, the Manduca
was used probably 4-8 hours a day, and about 8-12 hours a week in the second
and third years. He didn't nap anywhere else, ever.
We were a much busier family and I loved
how quick and easy the Manduca was.
It was so easy to strap him on and do chores or the groceries, or pick
up the big kids at the bus stop.
It
took us on hikes at Mer Bleu, berry picking, apple picking, museums, camping, farmers
markets, and Canada Day.
Nicholas
always had the best seat in the house, and I always had two hands for the big
kids or the activity.
The Manduca
was always comfortable for me, and I never had to fiddle with it to get it just
right.
Those first years with
Nicholas were some of the most stressful in our marriage, for other reasons,
and I needed to not have to think about unnecessary things too much.
When I had to leave my 12 month
old with a caregiver for the first time, I was able to show her how to use it
and she napped him in the carrier when I was gone.
It helped him feel secure and cared for
regardless of who was carrying him.
I am not someone who accessorizes very much. I have a sort of 'uniform' that I wear
most days (leggings, tunic, scarf, tall boots in winter, sandals in summer), I
wear pretty much the same make-up everyday, and I am happiest when I have a
schedule. I like not having to
think about too many things every day, and I like not having to make too many
decisions. I like when things run
on their own, when they just work.
The Manduca, and the ring slings, filled a need in my parenting tool box and what worked best for our family was to not mess
around with a good thing. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
After I bought the Manduca, I stopped using the ring sling
very much. I loaned it to a friend
when her third baby was born and she needed her hands free. It's been at her house for almost two
years, I think.
So, while I have had more than one carrier, you can see that
I never really used more than one at a time. That was partly because of our budget
and partly because of my personality.
We all parent differently, use different tools and prioritize different
things. This is a good thing. It's fantastic that we have the freedom
to do so, and that we have access to great products to help us in our
parenting. I made the best use of
both my financial resources and personal resources, and I saw it as a good
thing that I didn't have more at my disposal. I have learned to embrace simplicity
through my parenting, and to focus on the relationship. I have learned to listen to the
whispering in my ear, and to love someone else's drool dripping down my
back. At 11 and 8 years old, I can
calm and center my older children by holding them next to my left hip which is where they spent their first two years. When Nicholas wants a hug or a cuddle or
to play, he jumps on my back, which is where he spent his first three
years.
So, yes, I have one carrier. I tell parents every day that its not
complicated, to follow their gut and that there is no wrong way to
babywear.
